The Hole in my Heart
by ForeverMe19
Summary: Shimmerrain's never been the same since her brother died. What will help her stop clinging to the past? Hollyclan Challenge


"Help!" Shimmerrain woke abruptly, gasping. She closed her eyes, holding back a wail. She had tried so hard to keep herself together, but he kept coming back. Shimmerrain ran out of the Thunderclan warriors den, out of the gorge, into the forest, letting the tears fall. She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't stop, memories flooding over her like her waterfall of tears.

*Flashback

"Did you hear something?" Lightningtail turned to his sister, his ears pricked. Shimmerrain cocked her head, listening too. They were in the middle of a light snowstorm, beside the lake and the border with Windclan. Lightningtail had begged her to come hunting with him, seeing as she was going to be stuck in the nursery soon. Flutterwind, the medicine cat, had warned her of this a couple days ago. Shimmerrain was secretly happy that her brother wanted to spend time with her; he would be such a help raising the kits. But as she listened, she heard a cry; the cry was desperate, and a bit squeaky, like a...

"Kits!" she said suddenly. Lightningtail's eyes were wide; he was looking into to the lake, pointing with his tail.

"There!" he said. He had spotted them. Two silver tabby kits were struggling in the water, both crying for help. Lightningtail crouched, then jumped into the lake.

"Lightningtail!" Shimmerrain called, "Be careful! The current have been strong the last few days, thanks to the recent storms!" Lightningtail twitched his ears to show he had heard, swimming surprisingly well over to the kits. He grabbed a floating stick that bumped into him and helped one of the kits grab on. He reached for the other kit, but it had floated farther away.

"Here!" Lightningtail pushed the stick towards shore, "Take care of this one! I'll get the other!" Shimmerrain, who was waiting in the shallows, nodded and grabbed the stick with the kit before it floated away. The kit had stopped crying, its breathing shallow, not responding much as she began licking its fur the wrong way. Soon, its chest stopped moving. Shimmerrain looked up sadly, hoping to see Lightningtail coming back with the other kit. Maybe they could save that one. That would make her feel better.

"Help!" Lightningtail yowled weakly as his head disappeared underneath the waves. She immediately forgot all about both kits. All that mattered was the disappearing black ears and tail.

"Lightningtail!" Shimmerrain called, splashing into the lake again. She waited for her brother to come up so she could help him, but he didn't appear. She walked until the water was up to her belly fur, then stopped, fear starting to settle in her stomach.

"Lightningtail?" she called again, then desperately, "Lightningtail!" Her ears started ringing, and she barely heard the two sets of pawstems running towards the border. She kept waiting, and as the wails of a light brown tabby she-cat and a grey tom started, a wail in her heart began as well.

*End Flashback

Shimmerrain cried beside the lake, the very spot where she had last seen her brother.

"He died in vain!" she thought miserably, burying her head in her paws, "Swiftkit drowned with him, and Aspenkit died from the cold." She had found out the Windclan kits' names when their parents Heatherpelt and Duskfur grieved with her until a Thunderclan patrol came looking for them. She would never forget their names; she had almost named her own kits after them. Her mate Coaldust and best friend Ambereyes had tried to help her recover but the pain didn't leave; it worsened every time someone brought Lightningtail up or she had the nightmare. She could feel herself falling apart, the grief in her heart threatening to overwhelm her.

"Mom?" Shimmerrain whipped her heard around to see a little black she-cat, a smaller copy of herself, beside her. The she-cat touched her nose to her mother's cheek softly, "It's okay, I'm here." Shimmerrain took deep breaths as Lilypaw helped her up. As if she knew what she was upset about, Lilypaw said quietly, "It's okay. You still have me, Stonepaw, Petalpaw, Shrewpaw, Coaldust, and the rest of Thunderclan. You'll see Lightningtail again someday." Shimmerrain closed her eyes, then allowed herself to be led back to camp. She smiled faintly as her daughter touched her nose to her cheek again. And the hole in her heart became a bit smaller.

Author's Note: Shimmerrain is one of my favorite characters that I've come up with. I can't explain why, she just is. The thought of losing my only brother is terrible. He's only five years old, but I love him as if he's been part of my life since my birth. I'll never stop loving him, even if I feel like I want to kill him sometimes. He may be annoying, but he's my brother.


End file.
